No matter how old you get you still find yourself in slight awe at the sight of a shiny firetruck with horns blaring and lights ablaze. The sight evokes a sense of reverence and intrigue. With that being said I saw something funny the other day that I have to share.
I was sitting at an intersection waiting for this fire truck to come through the intersection. I could see him approaching. He was barrelling down the street toward the intersection with exceptional speed, instead of approaching in the cautious nature that i am used to. As he gets to the corner he hangs a right turn and swings the corner hard, ridiculously hard. There was no breaking or hesistation as he rounded the corner. He swung it like he was driving a go-kart instead of a several ton vehicle with passengers. I got a look at the expression on the driver's face as he wheeled the red beast around the corner. It was look of utter amusement, like he was driving a go-kart or Porshe. The poor guy who was riding in the position just behind the cab was flailing about trying to hang on. I had to laugh to myself.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
THe Crazy Behind the Curtain
Have you ever been having a pleasant or decent conversation with a stranger, everything is going well, you are chatting and getting along swimmingly. Then out of the blue Mr or Mrs. Kind Stranger says something that is a shade "off". By "off", i mean crazy. Something that makes you wonder if you heard the person correctly. You carry on with the conversation, all the while, replaying and reasoning through this nugget of crazy the seemingly normal stranger has dropped on you. Then the craziness escalates and the person says something else that confirms that they aren't exactly normal/sane. It becomes obvious to you that there is some sort of mental dysfunction and/or defect behind the curtain. Pay no attention to the crazy behind the curtain ( Wizard of Oz reference). At this point you switch into escape mode, trying to figure out how to casually, but effectively end the conversation. You can't let on that you are on to their crazy. If you do, then God help you because slightly nutty could become full blown, hostage situation, hide the sharp objects insanity.
When you do manage to extricate yourself from the situation you walk away thinking " Damn, so close".
When you do manage to extricate yourself from the situation you walk away thinking " Damn, so close".
Monday, March 24, 2008
Sticking it to "the Man"
I consciously don't wear a watch on the weekends as my way of sticking it to "the man". I'm not sure who the man is that I'm rebelling against or why he would even care that I'm not wearing a watch. All i know is that i feel like a rebel.
Just the Tip
On my daily Starbucks run I noticed something peculiar at the counter - a tip jar. At first i only gave it a passing thought, but then I began to notice tip jars everywhere. The local burrito hut, coffee houses, and our neighborhood sandwich place all had expertly decorated tip jars at the counters. I started to wonder what kind of service would warrant me putting money in the tip jar. Should i tip if they got my order correct? Or maybe if they actually gave me the correct change, a straw (if applicable) or more than one packet of ketchup. Call me a scrooge, but are we seriously expected to give them extra money for doing their damn job.
Is it silly of me to think that people will perform their job to the best of their ability without the promise of a reward. Is it too much to ask for acceptable service, notice i didn't say great service, without relying on the potential of a tip. Has it really come to that? I've even seen tip jars at the drive-thru windows. I mean seriously folks what are you expecting a tip for? The people at the drive-thru windows don't even actually prepare the orders they are simply data entry folks and some poor schmuck in the back is running around getting the orders. I wonder if the drive-thru attendants actually split the tips with the people in the back. I have a sneaking suspicion that someone is getting a bum deal.
Perhaps the tip jar is a repository for leftover change and they are doing us all a favor relieving us of the burden of carrying around a bunch of coins, cluttering up our pockets and lives.
Maybe i should put a tip jar on my desk at work and do my part to relieve my co-workers of their extra change.
Is it silly of me to think that people will perform their job to the best of their ability without the promise of a reward. Is it too much to ask for acceptable service, notice i didn't say great service, without relying on the potential of a tip. Has it really come to that? I've even seen tip jars at the drive-thru windows. I mean seriously folks what are you expecting a tip for? The people at the drive-thru windows don't even actually prepare the orders they are simply data entry folks and some poor schmuck in the back is running around getting the orders. I wonder if the drive-thru attendants actually split the tips with the people in the back. I have a sneaking suspicion that someone is getting a bum deal.
Perhaps the tip jar is a repository for leftover change and they are doing us all a favor relieving us of the burden of carrying around a bunch of coins, cluttering up our pockets and lives.
Maybe i should put a tip jar on my desk at work and do my part to relieve my co-workers of their extra change.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
The Gym
Who am I to say determine what is acceptable gym behavior and etiquette. I can only discuss what i find personally offensive or just plain weird.
Number one- Jeans as workout attire, is NOT acceptable. No one who is serious about getting a good workout would ever wear jeans or jean shorts to the gym. Even if you have no intention of working out and are just there to cruise for ladies or boys you should at least fake it. Look the part.
Number two- Wife-beaters or "A-shirts". I remember the first time I went undergarment shopping with my husband. We get to the section and I totally expecting to see "wife beaters" on the package. I was truly shocked when they were labeled "A-shirts". Honestly, i didn't know them to be called by any other name. I've digressed a bit, but i thought it was kind of amusing.
At no time should any nipples be seen at the gym and that applies to both males and females. Gentleman, if you are going to wear an a-shirt as your main workout shirt. They should no be white or you should layer them.
Number three- Perfume. For heaven's sake do not, i repeat-not, reapply any perfume or body sprays before you come to the gym. It's okay to smell like skin. It's inconsiderate to those working out around you. Perspiration intensifies smells both good and bad. Nothing is worse than being trapped on a treadmill next to someone who smells like a flowery gym sock. The perfume does not mask the body odor. In fact i think it does the opposite. I don't know about your gym, but mine smells like sweat, not funky, but athletic and everyone at the gym smells like that. Anything that doesn't smell "athletic" is very noticeable. So be kind to your fellow gym rat and wear your natural scent to the gym. We really don't mind.
Number one- Jeans as workout attire, is NOT acceptable. No one who is serious about getting a good workout would ever wear jeans or jean shorts to the gym. Even if you have no intention of working out and are just there to cruise for ladies or boys you should at least fake it. Look the part.
Number two- Wife-beaters or "A-shirts". I remember the first time I went undergarment shopping with my husband. We get to the section and I totally expecting to see "wife beaters" on the package. I was truly shocked when they were labeled "A-shirts". Honestly, i didn't know them to be called by any other name. I've digressed a bit, but i thought it was kind of amusing.
At no time should any nipples be seen at the gym and that applies to both males and females. Gentleman, if you are going to wear an a-shirt as your main workout shirt. They should no be white or you should layer them.
Number three- Perfume. For heaven's sake do not, i repeat-not, reapply any perfume or body sprays before you come to the gym. It's okay to smell like skin. It's inconsiderate to those working out around you. Perspiration intensifies smells both good and bad. Nothing is worse than being trapped on a treadmill next to someone who smells like a flowery gym sock. The perfume does not mask the body odor. In fact i think it does the opposite. I don't know about your gym, but mine smells like sweat, not funky, but athletic and everyone at the gym smells like that. Anything that doesn't smell "athletic" is very noticeable. So be kind to your fellow gym rat and wear your natural scent to the gym. We really don't mind.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Retired Pirate
My husband and I (yes, I am married and that will be one of the few tidbits of personal information I will share in this blog) were out running errands this past Saturday. On the way home we passed an elderly gentleman driving towards us in the opposite direction wearing and eye patch under his glasses...an eye patch under his glass. Do you understand why there might be a problem here...? Ahhh yes, a little insignificant things called depth perception. Maybe I'm off base in thinking that depth perception is essential to operating a vehicle safely. Maybe you don't need to be able to judge distance accurately if you been operating a vehicle since they were invented. Does practice make perfect?
What I do know is that i was glad the old gentleman was going in the opposite direction than us. Who knows, the lack of depth perception could actually have been the least of his problems. He could suffer a brief lapse in memory and forget which pedal is the gas and which is the brake.
We need to start taking licenses away. We all know how the authorities profile... i mean.... verify people's citizenship when they get pulled over. They should start pulling old people over and administering random vision and hand/eye coordination tests. There could be random checkpoints, similar to sobriety check points. Although, the blockades would have to be put up around nine in the morning to catch the mall walkers and the folks on their way from Denny's.
Who is protecting us from the old drivers. As the baby boomer age and the growing population of aged drivers increases this is going to become more of a problem, possibly worse than people driving while eating or texting when driving.
What I do know is that i was glad the old gentleman was going in the opposite direction than us. Who knows, the lack of depth perception could actually have been the least of his problems. He could suffer a brief lapse in memory and forget which pedal is the gas and which is the brake.
We need to start taking licenses away. We all know how the authorities profile... i mean.... verify people's citizenship when they get pulled over. They should start pulling old people over and administering random vision and hand/eye coordination tests. There could be random checkpoints, similar to sobriety check points. Although, the blockades would have to be put up around nine in the morning to catch the mall walkers and the folks on their way from Denny's.
Who is protecting us from the old drivers. As the baby boomer age and the growing population of aged drivers increases this is going to become more of a problem, possibly worse than people driving while eating or texting when driving.
Atypical Blogger
So I'm not your typical blogger. I will not be writing to tell you about my daily activities or vacations. This is not an online journal. I will not post pictures of friends or cute animals.
I debated whether or not to even start a blog, I didn't feel as if i had anything of substance to say. A friend of mine actually convinced me to do it, let's call her Reagan. She said that i should write about the same types of nonsense i send to her via email. Between you and me, I think she may have an ulterior motive to encouraging me to start blogging. She probably hopes that i will tire myself out blogging and quit sending her ridiculous emails and she can get some work done.Who could blame her?
I haven't quite figured out what this blog will be, the only thing i am certain of is what it will not be and I will try to convey my thoughts in the most intelligent way i can muster, but i make no promises. I have an extensive vocabulary , I swear I do, but i just can't use the words in every day conversation. Does that count as having an extensive vocabulary or just knowing vocabulary? These are the kind of questions you will probably encountered frequently if you monitor, notice i didn't say read, my blog regularly. I tend to monitor people's blogs. I read the first sentence and if strikes the cord of amusement then i will continue to read. It's rare that i find a post that gets more than a passing glance.
Is it wrong to want to be amused all the time? I'm hoping that this need is a side effect of my environment and not a(nother) personality dysfunction.
I debated whether or not to even start a blog, I didn't feel as if i had anything of substance to say. A friend of mine actually convinced me to do it, let's call her Reagan. She said that i should write about the same types of nonsense i send to her via email. Between you and me, I think she may have an ulterior motive to encouraging me to start blogging. She probably hopes that i will tire myself out blogging and quit sending her ridiculous emails and she can get some work done.Who could blame her?
I haven't quite figured out what this blog will be, the only thing i am certain of is what it will not be and I will try to convey my thoughts in the most intelligent way i can muster, but i make no promises. I have an extensive vocabulary , I swear I do, but i just can't use the words in every day conversation. Does that count as having an extensive vocabulary or just knowing vocabulary? These are the kind of questions you will probably encountered frequently if you monitor, notice i didn't say read, my blog regularly. I tend to monitor people's blogs. I read the first sentence and if strikes the cord of amusement then i will continue to read. It's rare that i find a post that gets more than a passing glance.
Is it wrong to want to be amused all the time? I'm hoping that this need is a side effect of my environment and not a(nother) personality dysfunction.
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